yea

New pics

Hi

Work is going great, for those of you that don't know I am currently employed as a detailer at Wentworth Subaru/Chevrolet, which involves about 75% cleaning and removing the wrapping/packaging, and 25% washing and moving cars. I finally figured out how to drive a stick shift! Just a shade under a decade.
It is quite a challenge to work an 8am-5pm job, getting up at 6:45am! But it's good though.
I am reading the final Frank Herbert Dune novel, Heretics of Dune. Just finished The Farthest Shore, and Tehanu, both of the Earthsea series, and Wizards' First Rule a Terry Goodkind novel all of which are similarly intriguing and I often mixed up the stories for a paragraph or two since I read them during the same time period.

Bobby's Art

Mikey art

Art of mine

H(e)a(n)d(s) are full

Life is good, my address has changed to
1240 SW Columbia St. #706
Portland, OR 97201
It is a great apartment, I am only here temporarily until I find a sobriety collective to move into until I can be on the lease after my court date in Feb., we are getting rid of tons of stuff, the place has a small gym, courtyard, laundry facilities, we are on the 7th floor with a nice view, it is well situated near downtown, the max lines, busses, and PSU, where I am planning on going to next fall, as long as I remember to apply for financial aid before April.
I am just keeping busy with the move, meetings, looking for work, a place to stay, and more meetings planned soon, reading God Emperor by frank Herbert, the Earthsea series by Ursula K. LeGuinn, and just started Dress Your family in jeans and corduroy by Dave Sedaris.
I recently talked to Mikey, and it reminded me about the outlet and zen feelings that go along with drawing, I am going to explore the freedom of drawing more often, it is a quite healthy and insightful happening.
Take care you crazy kids, and remember to learn from challenges, and recognize yours and others strengths.

Panese Den

Ja Gards

Pure goodness

Life is incredible! Differences can be good, spicy, the weather is perfect (or as near as can be, sunny, but with a light breeze and mid seventies, not very humid) my brother Bobby, his wife Janice, and their three girls, Kelly who is one, Shannon who is two, and Heather Mae who is four, years that is. It is very joyous to see them again, and Kelly for the first time, and I hear they are adapting and learning much about our ways of life, and the kids seem quite smart, in their interest of their surroundings, and new people. I was initially overwhelmed by the amount of happenings with them, and am still in awe of Bobby's patience and willingness to help them grow into nice kids, his acceptance of himself seems to help his interactions with the family. Janice is more open and fun, it sure is nice to get to know family, which reminds me, some day in the near or not too distant future, I want to visit Alaska, I really do miss family and nouns and verbs there. Jan seems happier and healthier, and I hope her and Vivi get a chance to hang out. Okay, have fun, eat healthy, sleep well, and remember to rehydrate.

Silly me!

Well wishing, finger crossing, knocking on wood, getting my hopes up, counting chickens. I just started The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night, am a couple pages from finishing The Brothers K, started The World Asunder, and finished Ecotopia. Spellbound by the assurities and confounded by the possibilities of what is and what might be.

Happy Birthday Mikey!!! I hope you had a good time, and that you got to see Alexandria when she was in town.

Work, life, and sleep, are as well as this erring person can make it at this time, I can only hope that it is going to be better, and that I will recognize where I can better mine, and others lives, as much as possible, and end this roller coaster ride of unhappy self torture. Or is it what I deserve? When will it stop being a constant struggle between How i think I should feel and become the life of the good.

Life is funny like that, one minute you are angry and the next you are speeding down the road, swerving, honking, and yelling. Jack Handey. Life can be enriching, empowering, full of happy surprises, and love. I want to have a healthy perspective on life, I know I am in a funky perspective right now, and that soon I will be in an upswing, thank you.

Well sorry to express myself thusly I do feel better now, and hope that you don't take this with a grain of pepper.

Friends

Bobby
http://brevigmission.blogspot.com/
Jack Funny
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Authors/?Jack_Handey
http://quotes.prolix.nu/Humor/Jack_Handey
Vivi
http://shut-up-and-run.blogspot.com/
Haha
http://www.sundial.com/humor/fuzzy.html

P.S.

Also been watching Laurel and Hardy.

Yahoo work!!

I have started work at West Cafe (westcafepdx.com) cleaning up, and begin training w/in a week, working as a barista and server about 30 hours per week. I am so excited I just can't hide it!

Congratulations Bobby, on your wedding, I look forward to seeing you all, and I wish for many years of happiness toward you all in the life of lives!

I am living in the present, as much as possible and aware that the miracles of life are innumerable, I just finished a wonderful novel, Peace like a River, and have begun re-reading another quite similar one The Brothers K, whilst masticating thru' Ecotopia, a book about the NW US and stable state living, it is well written, and I have to admit, a random paperback I got in the roseburg bookshop, which has turned out to be thorough and an almost opposite of Brave New World, in its' being about moving forward in the world by moving back in consumption, waste, population, and being more expressive, and accepting. Good.

Well, cheerio, and by the way watching Monty Python, and reading Jack Handys' books are uplifting and outrageously hilarious, I highly recommend finding your niche in what makes you feel good, and happy.

Phone Number Change

Hi to you, hello, my number is now a Portland #, it is 503-367-2760.

Delighting

Golly gum drops! I got a job. It is for In Bloom Catering, as a server, on call, and the first two jobs are at Nordstrom's, downtown, then at Washington Square, next Thursday and Friday. It pays well per hour, and have opportunities for tips, split evenly, and room for advancement, as I get to know my job better the more I will get paid. It is just getting into the busy season apparently, I am combining two previous work outfits, button up long sleeve white, with black pants and tie.

Thank you everyone for the responses on this blog!

Fun is the core of being, being a kid can be such a release, reliving the memories of water fights, ball tag, chase, running, reading, art (I still sketch laying on the floor), imagining, brings back the ache to enjoy life, as much as possible, and almost anything can be enjoyable in its' own light.

Wonderful storms today, wind and torrents of rain in surges, for a few hours, and then sunlight, clear and warm enough to seem another world. I went and sat outside during the storm with an umbrella, it was lively.

Day to day!

Ego, fear, anger, falseness, mocking, have to become their opposites, love, acceptance, patience, empathy. To do this, one must accept themself, acknowledging not only their wrongs, but my good deeds as well, forgiving myself, understanding that I in some way needed to have these actions in my life to become who I am, actions have changed me, but my life is change. I can understand who I don't want to be, to understand who I want to be. Positively affecting this world.

The effect life has on me is perspectively great, or terrible, or nothing, which of these do I want to feel? Which of these is what I look up to in others, or am I simply looking for faults in others, to make myself feel better, why not look for goodness? Problems, everyone has problems, strengths, everyone has strengths. I believe everyone is a genius in there own way. Moderation, is also key to me, construct. How do I figure out my feelings, paying attention, feeling, and thinking at the same time? I am in awe of the difference between being constructive, and destructive, having lived for so long recently, destructively, it is easy to unconsciously, start picking away at people (and myself) in my head, and dismissing them as beneath (or above) me. I am attempting to turn that around, and look for what they have that I like about myself, or would like to have. For some reason I don't like repetition of words, and I will get frustrated with the lack of synonyms I use in my head for these strenghts I see in others, which I should be able to accept, similarities are everywhere, we are the same species, and what difference does it make if I use the same word a few times, looking around at the people in my area, unless I am having trouble feeling good about myself, or just not used to it. Change is a process I can grow to love myself.

It is such a giant world, so much is happening at this very moment, has happened in the countless moments of history, and will happen, I am glad that we are here and no matter what I think, it is what I feel that matters to me.

I little wordy, I am glad to have an outlet. Life is welcome.

Artwork!

My brother Mikey painted the painting of a stuffed animals, that I have on here twice. Thank you very much Mikey!! You rock.

Pupilize

Life can sweep you up in it's rivers. People can too. The real, the right, or the false, the wrong. Can life be so simple? Love or ego? We can really can cloud the waters with ease. Seeing the way water bends light, processing sight, and sound, practice and trust are the way to catch a fish with your hands. Imagining possibilities, instead of assuming the way it seems. Accepting your self, being aware, and learning from actions, what do we really need to accomplish, feel, have.

Thank you!

Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful day today. I finished my cold, for the most part, and I am still in limbo waiting for my state tax return I expected 3 weeks ago, anyone else have a similar result? I am still reading "Surely you're joking Mr. Feynman", it is very good. My search for a profession continues, I want to become a barista, cashier, or if all else fails, continue serving, and bussing. I made cookie dough, and cookies. Good good, cinnamon smock. I hope to find a happy medium, where I work, am busy enough to not be bored, provide a product that doesn't jip people, or is unhealthy, is affordable, but not made by slave labor, is really needed, while not having too many rules/regulations, pays well, is not bad for the environment, where I don't have to repeat the same explanation over and over, well I would probably accept almost any job, but I just wish I could get myself more interested in working where I am working at the time, instead of worrying that I might lose my job, or that I am already burnt out on working, maybe I should try school again. If only I could do everything at once without stretching myself thin, isn't life supposed to be easy as abc 123. I added some links, but they only show when I press April Archives, I am being less and less paranoid, so that is a good sign, it tells me that my stress levels are leveling off, it makes life a little more fast heartbeatty, when you think every guy with a walkie talkie, cell phone, or just standing there, is a police man. My meetings at NARA are going well, once again I find myself making friends, realizing that everyone is crazy in their own way, but they are also ingeniously gifted in their own way as well. Cookie dough is good, I used pasturized egg whites instead of eggs. Globulin. Which brings me to my point. Good night!! Thank you!

Welcome to the orange juice

What do you think about the world's current outlook on life in the long run? Do you like kidney beans, or veggie burgers? Have you ever... I encourage the nod and smile approach to life, if not, laugh at what you appreciate as formiddable, true, agreeable, sad, challenging, and funny. I was raised well, and turned out well (at least I think so). My brother Bobby inspired me to start this blog, by creating one to keep us in the lower 48 updated, and has done wonderfully well. I finished a book called "The Sari Shop" and it was insightful, and a bit like looking in the mirror. My depression tends to affect me the same way as it did the main character, Ramchand, going with the flow of the world, later enjoying life, challenging myself, and questioning the meaning going into a downward spiral of, I can't believe people do this, to, I do that too, to, why do I do that, don't others see the ridiculousness of this life, we can't just focus on ourselves so much. I recently did some art, and have been reading much books.

4/6/06 Images

4/6/06 Images 2